Let’s be honest—some gifts just don’t quite hit the mark.

Many folks in Washington would probably feel the same way. Just a friendly reminder: if you’ve already picked up any of these items, make sure to hang onto the receipt.

1. Anything that says "Washingtonian."

It seriously looks like you bought it from a gift shop at Sea-Tac airport.

2. An Umbrella

Save your money! We definitely won't need them. Yes, it rains for long stretches on the Seattle side of the mountains, but I've never bothered with an umbrella there. Ever.

3. A Surfboard

You might wonder about the point of surfing here, especially with places like Lake Chelan lacking those epic waves! (Okay, they do have an epic wave park at Slidewaters.)

4. More Taxes

I would like to address any politicians who may be reading this message. It is essential to avoid introducing new taxes in 2026. Additionally, I kindly suggest reducing the current tax rates we are obligated to pay. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

5. Any 49ers fan gear.

If you're unsure about a person’s loyalty to the 49ers, it might be wise to choose a different gift. The Seahawks have won a Super Bowl in the 21st Century. The 49ers last won one when typewriters were still a thing.

Every gift is a reflection of thoughtfulness! While there's a playful twist here—except for the taxes, of course—let's cherish the meaningful moments and memories created through our generous gestures. It's truly the thought that matters.